Rejection Refusal Letter :)

[gdpt-]

Dear Hiring Manager:

Thank you for your letter dated 27, Nov. 2002. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department.



This year, I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it's impossible for me to accept all refusals.



Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time.



I look forward to seeing you Monday, at 9 a.m., as I begin my future with your company. I wish you the best of luck in rejecting future applicants.



Sincerely, ...

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[Ellableu]

Hi gdpt, that one is so funny Ella loves it...hahaha...This reminds Ella of this next article....*smile*





New Rules Of The Office...will be effective immediately....


DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada shoes and carrying $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.


SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.


PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.


VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: January 1, July 4 and December 25.


BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arragements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.


OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your new replacement.


RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the pratice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with A will go from 8 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with B will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your alloted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange.


LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour lunch as they need to eat more so they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal to maintain their average figure. Overweight people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time need to drink a Slim Fast & take a diet pill.


Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Have a nice week.