HIEN DAO's Writing

[HIEN DAO]

Integrated essay

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of the causes and the symptoms of Asthma. However, the point presented in the listening cast doubt the main points in the reading.

According to the lecture, the airway which causes the wheezing, coughing and short breath may last permanently during the disorder of Asthma. Therefore, the long lasting of the airway probably causes the hazards for patients. This contradicts the point in the reading which indicates that the airways can return to the normal condition before a new attack. Hence, this concern can be controlled by the right medicine.

Another point in the listening explains that remodeling resulted from long-term inflammation can be the fundamental cause of Asthma. This refutes the reading passage which asserts that the remodeling is not the cause, but the consequence.

Finally, the speaker mentions that two main causes of Asthma are genetic elements and environments. For example, through the research of children, researchers address that the symptoms probably are caused by the combination of environments and gene. The environmental triggers are the smoke, dust emits and perfumes. However, the text asserts that the main cause is not genetic but environment factor only. Specially, victims might not breathe, since muscles block the bronchioles

In conclusion, the professor disagrees with the three points in the reading and believes that the genetic factor might lead to Asthma.

[HIEN DAO]

I revised the essay that you corrected for me. Thanks again!

[HIEN DAO]

Integrated writing rewards for employees

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of the impacts of rewards on the performance of employees. However, the points presented in the lecture cast doubt on the main points in the reading which supports the reward system
At least, according to the lecture, employees expressed that they did not like rewards because they probably cause an uncooperative atmosphere in the company. Furthermore, the speaker also indicates that the rewards may have counter-effects on the productivity of employees. This contradicts with the point in the reading which asserts that money and company stocks may make employees work hard and improve their performances.

Another point in the listening explains that the reward is likely a punishment for the rest of the employees who cannot reach the highest performance because they believe award is a kind of manipulation. For example, if a worker does not get the reward, he may feel disappointed. Therefore, there might be a lower performance in the company, because the employees may feel that they are fail. However, the text mentions that the greatest award to those who perform best can enhance their attitude and productivity.

Finally, the speaker claims that there may have a decrease in the number of work if applying the reward system. For example, an employee may not co-operate with his supervisor because he is worried to be degraded in evaluation for a rank. This opposes the reading passage which also indicates that if the goal is beyond, it can cause a lower performance of employees.

In conclusion, the professor disagrees with the reading all three points and believes that reward system can cause menaces for employees ' performance.

[HIEN DAO]

Integrated essay about Asthma

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of the causes and the symptoms of Asthma. However, the point presented in the listening cast doubt the main points in the reading.

According to the lecture, the airway which causes the wheezing, coughing and short breath may last permanently during the disorder of Asthma. Therefore, the long lasting of the airway probably causes the hazards for patients. This contradicts the point in the reading which indicates that the airways can return to the normal condition before a new attack. Hence, this concern can be controlled by the right medicine.

Another point in the listening explains that remodeling resulted from long-term inflammation can be the fundamental cause of Asthma. This refutes the reading passage which asserts that the remodeling is not the cause, but the consequence.

Finally, the speaker mentions that two main causes of Asthma are genetic elements and environments. For example, through the research of children, researchers address that the symptoms probably are caused by the combination of environments and gene. The environmental triggers are the smoke, dust emits and perfumes. However, the text asserts that the main cause is not genetic but environment factor only. Specially, victims might not breathe, since muscles block the bronchioles

In conclusion, the professor disagrees with the three points in the reading and believes that the genetic factor might lead to Asthma.

[Bear Lac Loi]

HIEN DAO,

I am confused with the many essays that you have posted. We need to work on the writings one at a time so that you can learn from the past mistakes and improve on the next writing. I am not sure the purposes of all the posts!

[HIEN DAO]

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of genetically modified food. However, lecture cast doubt on the main issues regarding advantages of biotech food in the reading passage.

According to the lecture, modified food is invented to make profits for food industry. The professor indicates that in reality, the amount of food is not in shortage but in abundance. Furthermore, the population might not be the major cause of the hunger and undernourished concerns in the developing world. This contradicts the reading, which claims that the genetically changed food is likely to save the poor and solve malnutrition problems. Because the population will increase to 9 billion by 2050, the biotech food might well be a viable solution.

Another main point in the listening discusses that the DNA technology used in the super crops is the same as conventional method. Additionally, the speaker asserts that the modern method can cause harms because of the unnatural combination of genes. Moreover, the new modified food designates the exotic traits which react differently, which may create toxin or unsustainable chemicals. This opposes the reading, which mentions that the modern technology is time-saving and accurate; therefore, it can enhance better crop yields.

There is a third discrepancy between the listening and the reading. The professor asserts that the genetically changed food might not be safe for human, for the substantial equivalent test is not likely to be creditable. There are some limitations of this test. However, the reading mentions this test can ensure that the products are safe for human consumption


In conclusion, the professor disagrees with the reading on all three points and believes the modified food has many disadvantages.

[Bear Lac Loi]

Integrated essay about Asthma

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of the causes and the symptoms of Asthma. However, the point presented in the listening cast doubt the main points in the reading.

According to the lecture, the airway which causes the wheezing, coughing and short breath may last permanently during the disorder of Asthma. Therefore, the long lasting of the airway probably causes the hazards for patients. This contradicts the point in the reading which indicates that the airways can return to the normal condition before a new attack. Hence, this concern can be controlled by the right medicine.

Another point in the listening explains that remodeling resulted from long-term inflammation can be the fundamental cause of Asthma. This refutes the reading passage which asserts that the remodeling is not the cause, but the consequence.

Finally, the speaker mentions that two main causes of Asthma are genetic elements and environments. For example, through the research of children, researchers address that the symptoms probably are caused by the combination of environments and gene. The environmental triggers are the smoke, dust emits and perfumes. However, the text asserts that the main cause is not genetic but environment factor only. Specially, victims might not breathe, since muscles block the bronchioles

In conclusion, the professor disagrees with the three points in the reading and believes that the genetic factor might lead to Asthma.

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of the causes and the symptoms of Asthma (Why do you capitalize asthma? Would you capitalize headache, nearsighted, or cancer?). However, the point presented in the listening cast (subject-verb agreement) doubt (add: on) the main points in the reading.

According to the lecture, the airway which causes the wheezing, coughing and short breath may last permanently during the disorder of (delete: the disorder of) Asthma (what do you mean by saying “last permanently” but only “during” asthma attack? Permanent means forever; however, asthma attack does not last forever unless the person dies)[1]. Therefore, the long lasting of the airway (what do you mean?) probably causes the (delete: the) hazards for (to the) patients [2]. This contradicts the point in the reading which indicates that the airways can return to the normal condition before a new attack. Hence, this concern can be controlled by the right medicine.

Another point in the listening explains that remodeling resulted from long-term inflammation can be the fundamental cause of Asthma. This refutes the reading passage which asserts that the remodeling is not the cause, but the consequence. (“Remodeling” itself does not make much sense in this case. You should use “airway remodeling”.)

Finally, the speaker mentions that two main causes of Asthma are genetic elements and environments. For example, through the research of (in) children, researchers address (believe/find) that the symptoms probably are (are probably) caused by the combination of environments and gene. The environmental triggers are (better: include) the smoke, dust emits (delete: emits) (comma) and perfumes. However, the text asserts that the main cause is not genetic but environment factor only. Specially, victims might not breathe, (delete the comma) since muscles block the bronchioles

In conclusion, the professor disagrees with the three points in the reading and believes that the genetic factor might lead to Asthma.

--- o0o ---

From consulting with Co Dieu Nhac, she suspected that you meant to say:

[1] The inflammation of the airway, which causes the wheezing, coughing, and short breath, may be permanent to an asthma patient.

[2] If left untreated, the patient can die.

Co Dieu Nhac also recommended you post the reading and the lecture if possible.

--- o0o ---

I cannot comment much about the context since I have not read the passage and listened to the reading. However, overall, your grammar and the use of vocabulary are good.

[Bear Lac Loi]

Integrated writing rewards for employees

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of the impacts of rewards on the performance of employees. However, the points presented in the lecture cast doubt on the main points in the reading which supports the reward system
At least, according to the lecture, employees expressed that they did not like rewards because they probably cause an uncooperative atmosphere in the company. Furthermore, the speaker also indicates that the rewards may have counter-effects on the productivity of employees. This contradicts with the point in the reading which asserts that money and company stocks may make employees work hard and improve their performances.

Another point in the listening explains that the reward is likely a punishment for the rest of the employees who cannot reach the highest performance because they believe award is a kind of manipulation. For example, if a worker does not get the reward, he may feel disappointed. Therefore, there might be a lower performance in the company, because the employees may feel that they are fail. However, the text mentions that the greatest award to those who perform best can enhance their attitude and productivity.

Finally, the speaker claims that there may have a decrease in the number of work if applying the reward system. For example, an employee may not co-operate with his supervisor because he is worried to be degraded in evaluation for a rank. This opposes the reading passage which also indicates that if the goal is beyond, it can cause a lower performance of employees.

In conclusion, the professor disagrees with the reading all three points and believes that reward system can cause menaces for employees ' performance.

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of the impacts of rewards (of reward impacting) on the performance of employees. However, the points presented in the lecture cast doubt on the main points in the reading (comma) which supports the reward system

At least, according to the lecture, employees expressed that they did not like rewards because they probably cause an uncooperative atmosphere in the company. Furthermore, the speaker also indicates that the rewards may have counter-effects on the productivity of employees. This contradicts with the point in the reading which asserts that money and company stocks may make employees work hard and improve their performances.

Another point in the listening explains that the reward is likely (is viewed as) a punishment for the rest of the employees who cannot reach the highest performance because (replace “because” with a period) they believe award is a kind of manipulation. For example, if a worker does not get the reward, he may feel disappointed. Therefore, there might be a lower performance in the company, because the employees may feel that they are (delete: are) fail. However, the text mentions that the greatest award to those who perform best can enhance their attitude and productivity.

Finally, the speaker claims that there may have (be) a decrease in the number of work if applying the reward system. For example, an employee may not co-operate with his supervisor because he is worried to be degraded in evaluation for a rank (he is worried that it will affect his performance evaluation). This opposes the reading passage which also indicates that if the goal is beyond (is unrealistic), it can cause a lower performance of (from) employees.

In conclusion, the professor disagrees with the reading (add: on) all three points and believes that (add: a) reward system can cause menaces for (to) employees ' performance.

--- o0o ---

As mentioned before, I only check the grammar and ignore the context since I do not have access to the references such as the text and the lecture.