HIEN DAO's Writing

[HIEN DAO]

Question: The ease of food- Has this change improve the way people life?

The development of food industry is producing many canned food and processed food. Many people have a philosophy that the ease of preparation food makes life more convenient. However, I strongly disagree with the above idea because the ease of food may cause health concerns for human and ruin the art of cooking.

Health problem is the first reason for my argument. Nowadays, the fast-pace living is likely to take away the time of people to cook. In addition, the technological advance in Food Industry is producing a large amount of food which is processed such as canned food, frozen food and fast food. Although these kinds of food help us time-saving to prepare, they also can lead to a great deal of fatal disease such as breast cancer, obesity and strokes. For example, in the United State of America, people are consuming a bun of canned and fast food due to the pace of live. Hence, there is a considerable number of patients who may caught such as obesity and cancer.

Vanishing the art of cooking is another justification. For some have a hearty cooking skills, cooking can be the way to relax or enjoy their life. Furthermore, cooking indicates the culture of a person or a nation. Because of the ease of food, many could become lazy to make it. This can result in the lost of special cuisine of a culture. In other words, because of the mass production of food, the consumer are eating the same taste of food. Thus, this probably ruin the special recipe. Furthermore, Those who is insufficient time to prepare food might be not enough time to enjoy dinner time which is the quality time with family members.

In conclusion, I disagree with the above idea because of fatal diseases and the vanishing of cooking culture. Therefore, although there are a large amount of processed food, I would recommend that people cook their food to preclude for health problems and to protect food art.

Similar Threads:

• Free Writes | Replies: 7">PLz help to correct my essay!!!!!!!!!!
• Free Writes | Replies: 29">Please help me correct my essay. Thanks for your help!
• Free Writes | Replies: 4">Please help me correct my essay!
• Free Writes | Replies: 4">kindly correct my essay please!
• Free Writes | Replies: 1">Please hep me correct this topic , I'm writing Toefl essay

Other Threads:

• Nana's essay,help me,thanks
• visit the colony of rogue inhabitants
• Here is my new essay. Please correct this essay and give me some advisement...!!!
• Nhờ Thầy Cô chỉnh essay giúp em với !
• Mong mọi người sửa dùm em essay này! em cảm ơn nhiều lắm ạ!

[Bear Lac Loi]

Question: The ease of food- Has this change improve the way people life?

The development of food industry is producing many canned food and processed food. Many people have a philosophy that the ease of preparation food makes life more convenient. However, I strongly disagree with the above idea because the ease of food may cause health concerns for human and ruin the art of cooking.

Health problem is the first reason for my argument. Nowadays, the fast-pace living is likely to take away the time of people to cook. In addition, the technological advance in Food Industry is producing a large amount of food which is processed such as canned food, frozen food and fast food. Although these kinds of food help us time-saving to prepare, they also can lead to a great deal of fatal disease such as breast cancer, obesity and strokes. For example, in the United State of America, people are consuming a bun of canned and fast food due to the pace of live. Hence, there is a considerable number of patients who may caught such as obesity and cancer.

Vanishing the art of cooking is another justification. For some have a hearty cooking skills, cooking can be the way to relax or enjoy their life. Furthermore, cooking indicates the culture of a person or a nation. Because of the ease of food, many could become lazy to make it. This can result in the lost of special cuisine of a culture. In other words, because of the mass production of food, the consumer are eating the same taste of food. Thus, this probably ruin the special recipe. Furthermore, Those who is insufficient time to prepare food might be not enough time to enjoy dinner time which is the quality time with family members.

In conclusion, I disagree with the above idea because of fatal diseases and the vanishing of cooking culture. Therefore, although there are a large amount of processed food, I would recommend that people cook their food to preclude for health problems and to protect food art.

Question: The ease of food (add: preparation) - Has this change improve (improved) the way people life (live)?

The development of food industry is producing (leads to mass production of)many (delete: many) canned food and processed food. Many people have a philosophy (wordy. Replace with “believe”) that the ease of preparation food (food preparation) makes life more convenient. However, I strongly disagree with the above idea because the ease of food (add: preparation) (better: however, I disagree because canned food and processed food) may cause health concerns for human (extraneous: delete “for human”) and ruin the art of cooking.

Health problem is the first reason for my argument. Nowadays, the fast-pace living is likely to take away the time of people to cook (the fast-paced living is likely to keep people from having enough time to cook). In addition, the technological advance in Food Industry (why do you capitalize Food Industry? Is it a name of a company?) is producing a large amount of food which is processed (better: a large amount of processed food) such as canned food, frozen food (comma) and fast food. Although these kinds of food help us time-saving (save time) to prepare, they also can lead to a great deal of fatal disease (use plural noun) such as breast cancer, obesity (comma) and strokes. For example, in the United State of America, people are consuming a bun of (“a bunch of” or better: much) canned and fast food due to the pace of live (due to fast-paced lives). Hence, there is a considerable number of patients who may caught such as (who have) obesity and cancer.

Vanishing the art of cooking is another justification. For some (add: who) have a (delete: a) hearty (great) cooking skills, cooking can be the way to relax or enjoy their life (lives). Furthermore, cooking indicates (represents) the culture of a person or a nation. Because of the ease of food (add: preparation), many could become lazy to make it (in preparing food). This can result in the lost (loss) of special cuisine of a culture. In other words, because of the mass production of food, the consumer are (subject-verb agreement) eating the same taste (type) of food. Thus, this probably ruin (subject-verb agreement) the (delete: the) special recipe (recipes). Furthermore, Those who is (those who have) insufficient time to prepare food might be not enough (might not have enough) time to enjoy dinner time which is the quality time with family members.

In conclusion, I disagree with the above idea (ambiguous. What is the “above idea”?) because of fatal diseases and the vanishing of cooking culture. Therefore, although there are (is) a large amount of processed food, I would recommend that people cook their food to preclude for (prevent from) health problems and to protect food art (to maintain the art of cooking).

--- o0o ---

Hello Hien Dao,

Welcome to the ESE room. Please review the corrections or the comments and re-write the essay. I have found that the reasoning is not very strong. However, I would prefer you improving the mechanics before discussing the contents.

[HIEN DAO]

Thanks for your help. Your correction is really helpful!

[HIEN DAO]

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of food which is modified genetically. However, the points presented in the lecture cast doubt on the main points of the reading which states the modified food offers many advantages.

According to the lecture, modified food is invented to make profits for food industry. The professor indicates that in the reality the food is not shortage, but abundant resource. Furthermore, the poverty can be the main cause of the hunger and undernourished concerns in the developing world. This contradicts the reading which claims that the genetically changed food is likely to save the poor and solve malnutrition problem. Because the population will be increase to 9 billion by 2050, the modified food might well a good solution.

Another main point in the listening discusses that the DNA technology used in the super crops is the same conventional method. Additionally, the speaker asserts that the modern method can cause the hazards because of the unnatural combination of genes. Moreover, the new gene food designated the traits and reacts differently, which may create toxin or unsustainable chemical. This opposes the reading which mentions that the modern technology helps save time and accurate; therefore, it can enhance better crop yield.

There is a third discrepancy between the listening and the reading. The professor asserts that the changed food might not safe for human, for the substantial equivalent test is not likely creditable. There is some limitation of this test. However, the reading mentions this test can ensure that the products are safe for human consumption

In conclusion, the professor disagrees on the reading on all three points and believes the modified food has many disadvantages.

[Bear Lac Loi]

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of food which is modified genetically. However, the points presented in the lecture cast doubt on the main points of the reading which states the modified food offers many advantages.

According to the lecture, modified food is invented to make profits for food industry. The professor indicates that in the reality the food is not shortage, but abundant resource. Furthermore, the poverty can be the main cause of the hunger and undernourished concerns in the developing world. This contradicts the reading which claims that the genetically changed food is likely to save the poor and solve malnutrition problem. Because the population will be increase to 9 billion by 2050, the modified food might well a good solution.

Another main point in the listening discusses that the DNA technology used in the super crops is the same conventional method. Additionally, the speaker asserts that the modern method can cause the hazards because of the unnatural combination of genes. Moreover, the new gene food designated the traits and reacts differently, which may create toxin or unsustainable chemical. This opposes the reading which mentions that the modern technology helps save time and accurate; therefore, it can enhance better crop yield.

There is a third discrepancy between the listening and the reading. The professor asserts that the changed food might not safe for human, for the substantial equivalent test is not likely creditable. There is some limitation of this test. However, the reading mentions this test can ensure that the products are safe for human consumption

In conclusion, the professor disagrees on the reading on all three points and believes the modified food has many disadvantages.

Both the text and the lecture deal with the topic of food (comma) which is modified genetically (better: the topic of genetically modified food). However, the points presented in the lecture cast doubt on the main points of the reading which states (subject-verb agreement) the modified food offers many advantages (The sentence is confusing. better: However, the lecture cast doubt on the main issue regarding advantages of modified food).

According to the lecture, modified food is invented to make profits for food industry. The professor indicates that in the (delete: the) reality (comma) the food is not (add: in) shortage, (delete the comma) but abundant resource (delete: resource). Furthermore, the poverty can be the main cause of the hunger and undernourished concerns in the developing world (Confusing. Please revise). This contradicts the reading (comma) which claims that the genetically changed food is likely to save the poor and solve malnutrition problem. Because the population will be increase to 9 billion by 2050, the modified food might well a good solution (where is the main verb?).

Another main point in the listening discusses that the DNA technology used in the super crops is the same (add: with) conventional method. Additionally, the speaker asserts that the modern method can cause the hazards (harms) because of the unnatural combination of genes. Moreover, the new gene food (?) designated the traits (which traits?) and reacts differently, which may create toxin or unsustainable chemical. This opposes the reading which mentions that the modern technology helps save time and accurate (help save accurate?); therefore, it can enhance better crop yield.

There is a third discrepancy between the listening and the reading. The professor asserts that the changed food might not safe for human, for the substantial equivalent test is not likely (either add “to be” or delete “likely”) creditable. There is some limitation (plural noun) of this test. However, the reading mentions this test can ensure that the products are safe for human consumption

In conclusion, the professor disagrees on (with) the reading on all three points and believes the modified food has many disadvantages.

--- o0o ---

Hien Dao,

You have not re-writen the previously corrected essay as recommended. However, I go ahead and work on this writing anyway.

I can only correct the grammatical errors of the writing since I have not had the reading or listening sections of the test. Therefore, I cannot comment on the content. From the writing, I can guess some of the discussions, but I felt that the essay is somewhat confusing.

Please rewrite both essays and revise the errors.

[HIEN DAO]

Childhood is the happiest time of a person life.
Everyone has the gold childhood in his life. Some people believe that the most cheerful period of life is the childhood. From my standpoint, I strongly agree with the above idea because childhood is the quality time for children and there are not anxieties and stresses in this period.

This quality time is my first reason in my argument. Their parents often allot a considerable amount of time to bring up their kids in this period. Therefore, children can learn behaviors from the parents to be a well-mannered adult in future. In addition, children go to schools which have a lot of the peers who they can associate and have much fun such as playing in the playground. For example, childhood was the best memorable in my life because I enjoyed many games with my neighborhood friends and have valuable moments with my parents. Hence, childhood is often the most beautiful time in life

Second, there are no anxieties in this period. The adults probably face the up and down of their lives such as: finance security and finding a good job, while children are not suffered to these situations. In other words, their parents can afford for the education and entertainments. For instance, even if my parents of my friends are middle- class, they still invested the sufficient proportion of their finance for my classmates' education. Hence, children may not be as stressful as adults.

In conclusion, I agree with the idea that childhood is the best time in our lives because children can be raised by their doting parents and they do not to take into many accounts such as applying for jobs and finance problems. I would recommend that people be appreciate their childhood.

[HIEN DAO]

Do you agree or disagree that the availability of information in the Internet influences today’s life?

The twentieth century has witnessed the development of high-tech technology. Many have a philosophy that the Internet offers the huge opportunities that we do not have chances to experience before. For my standpoint, I strongly agree with the above idea because the Internet has positive impacts on our economy and education.

The economic benefit is the first reason for my argument. Because of the developmental technology applications in the Internet such as email, telecom conference and trade websites, these offers the vast amount of information for companies. For example, nowadays, companies can search their potential customers and suppliers ‘data such as the brand name and prestige. Therefore, the Internet helps the company find necessary information in doing business. Furthermore, the Internet applications such as mail and telecom communication which makes the transactions efficiently by reducing the cost of phone calls and business travel. Therefore, Internet can enhance business.

Education development is another justification. Because the educational data are available on the Internet, the students could access these data to improve their knowledge. For instance, the San Diego Internet library system uploads the considerable amount of researches many professors, students can look for these data to learn and foster the academic experiences that they have not spent yet. Hence, the internet is useful for academic advance
To sum up, I agree the idea above because available information for the Internet is boosting the growth of economy and the advance of education. Thus, it is imperative to take advantages of the Internet to improve our experiences

[HIEN DAO]

Because i could not catch some points in the Listening passage;hence, some points are confusing. Thanks a lot for your comments. I will revise it.

[HIEN DAO]

Revised- The ease of food preparation- Has this change improved the way people live.

The development of food industry is producing many canned food and processed food. Many people do believe that the ease of food preparation makes life more convenient. However, I strongly disagree with the above idea because the processed food and canned food may cause health concerns and ruin the art of cooking.

Health problem is the first reason for my argument. Nowadays, the fast-paced living is likely to keep people from having enough time to cook. In addition, the technological advance in food Industry is producing a large amount of processed food such as canned food, frozen food and fast food. Although these kinds of food help us save time in cooking, they can lead to a great number of fatal diseases such as breast cancer, obesity and strokes. For example, in the United State of America, people are consuming much fast food owing to the fast-paced lives. Hence, there are a considerable number of patients who may have obesity and cancer.

Vanishing the art of cooking is another justification. For those who have great cooking skills, cooking can be the way to relax or enjoy their lives. Furthermore, cooking represents the food culture of a person or a nation. Because of the ease of cooking, many could become lazy in preparing food. This can result in the loss of special cuisine of a culture. In other words, because of the mass production of food, the consumers are eating the same taste of food. Thus, this probably ruins the special recipes. Furthermore, those who are insufficient time to cook food might not have enough time to enjoy dinner which is the quality time with family members.

In conclusion, I disagree with the idea because of fatal diseases and the vanishing of cooking art. Therefore, although there is a large amount of processed food, I would recommend that people cook their food to preclude from health problems and to protect food art.

[HIEN DAO]

These above comments are very useful!