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  1. #1
    Join Date
    July 2008
    Location
    Danang
    Posts
    40

    Smile My first thread...

    Hello everyone....... I consider carefully before I write this thread, because i'm a shy girl ... I'm afraid that everyone will read my thread and... what will happen and what do they think??? I don't know but.... maybe I think too much...

    Alright... My name is Kim Phượng. I'm sixteen years old and i'm in grade 11. I live in Đà Nẵng, Vietnam. I have joined in Paltalk for 2 months... Is it so long? During this summer vacation, I learnt how to read and pronunciate. I don't know why my heart beats so strongly and so fast when i take the mic, maybe because i know there are many people listening to me.When i listened to another who pronunciate so well, i felt disappointed because my pronunciation was not good... I always made some mistakes when i read. However, i never give up practising, because i know if i give up, i will never improve my English successfully. And then, one day, after I had read, Ms ChreshedLove told me that "Good job"... And.. you know... this is the first time i have been praised... I'm very excited because my pronunciation is improved a little bit.

    I find the instructors so dedicated... They are really teachers although teaching is not their job...Thanks my teachers...

    I want to give my grateful to everyone who helps me learn english and encourages me... Thank you for everything you give me!!!

    I know my writing is not good, but i want to write something in this forum... and try writing once. I just know how to use the simple sentences and there are some mistakes here... If you don't mind, please correct my mistakes and i will rewrite as soon as i can...

    Thanks for reading my first thread ... Love all

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  2. #2
    gdpt- Guest

    Default

    I'm sixteen years old and i'm in grade 11.
    - I am sixteen years old and I'm in the eleventh grade.
    OR
    - I am sixteen years old and am currently in the eleventh grade.
    COMMENT: When referring to grade levels, most people put numbers first. EX: Ninth grade; tenth grade; eleventh grade... etc.

    I have joined in Paltalk for 2 months... Is it so long?
    - I have joined (delete: in) Paltalk for two months. Is it too long?
    OR
    - I have been on Paltalk for two months. Is it too long?
    COMMENT: Numbers less than 10 are usually written in words.

    During this summer vacation, I learnt how to read and pronunciate.
    - During this summer vacation, I've learned how to read and enunciate.[/quote]
    COMMENT: pronunciate isn't a word.

    When i listened to another who pronunciate so well, i felt disappointed because my pronunciation was not good
    - When I listen to others who enunciate (delete: so) well, I feel disappointed (in myself) because my pronunciation isn't good enough.

    I always made some mistakes when i read.
    - I would always make (delete: some) mistakes when I read.

    However, i never give up practising, because i know if i give up, i will never improve my English successfully.
    - However, I never give up practicing because, I know if I give up, I will never improve my English (delete: successfully).
    OR
    - However, I never give up practicing because, if I do, I will never improve my English.

    And then, one day,
    (delete: And then,) One day, ....

    Ms ChreshedLove told me that "Good job"...
    Ms. CherishedLove told me, (delete: that) "good job."

    I'm very excited because my pronunciation is improved a little bit.
    - I'm very excited because my pronunciation is improving a little bit.
    OR
    - I'm very excited because my pronunciation has improved a little bit.
    COMMENT: You can take out "a little bit" and the sentence will still hold its significant value.



    I find the instructors so dedicated... They are really teachers although teaching is not their job.
    - I find the teachers very dedicated. They are true teachers, although teaching is not their real job.

    I want to give my grateful to everyone who helps me learn english and encourages me...
    - I want to express my gratitude to everyone who helps me learn English and encourages me.
    OR
    - I want to express my gratitude to everyone who encourage and helps me learn English.
    COMMENT: Grateful is an adjective. Usually, you can't give an adjective to someone. EX: Instead of: I want to give my happy(adj) to someone; you would say: I want to give my happiness(noun) to someone. However, you can always use an adjective to describe the noun you are giving. EX: I want to give my PRETTY blouse to someone.


    COMMENTS: Hi, tieu_muoi. Your writing is great. You express yourself very well. Keep up the good work, and CherishedLove will be very proud.

    Practice makes perfect so keep practicing.


  3. #3
    Join Date
    July 2008
    Location
    Danang
    Posts
    40

    Default

    Hello Ms gdpt-, i'm very glad that you correct my mistakes and encourage me... However, let me replace "enunciate" with "pronounce" (my friend advises that and i think so). Alright? Thanks a lot, Ms gdpt-
    This is my rewritten thread...
    Hello everyone....... I consider carefully before I write this thread, because i'm a shy girl ... I'm afraid that everyone will read my thread and... what will happen and what do they think??? I don't know but.... maybe I think too much...
    Alright... My name is Kim Phượng. I'm sixteen years old and i'm in the eleventh grade. I live in Đà Nẵng, Vietnam. I have joined Paltalk for two months... Is it too long? During this summer vacation, I've learnt how to read and pronounce. I don't know why my heart beats so strongly and so fast when i take the mic, maybe because i know there are many people listening to me. When i listen to others who pronounce well, i feel disappointed because my pronunciation is not good enough... I would always make mistakes when i read. However, i never give up practicing because, if i do, i will never improve my English. One day, after I had read, Ms ChreshedLove told me, "good job"... And.. you know... this is the first time i have been praised... I'm very excited because my pronunciation has improved.
    I find the instructors very dedicated... They are true teachers although teaching is not their real job... Thanks my teachers...

    I want to give my gratitude to everyone who helps me learn english and encourages me... Thank you for everything you give me!!!
    Thanks for reading my first thread ... Love all
    Thank you very much, Ms gdpt- and my friend... Give you two bunches of flowers...

    Last edited by tieu_muoi_1992; Aug 12, 2008 at 11:52 PM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    June 2008
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    627

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tieu_muoi_1992 View Post
    Thanks my teachers...

    Thanks for reading my first thread ... Love all

    Quote Originally Posted by tieu_muoi_1992 View Post
    Thanks a lot, Ms gdpt-
    Thanks my teachers...

    Thanks for reading my first thread ... Love all
    Thank you very much, Ms gdpt- and my friend... Give you two bunches of flowers...
    I sneezed many times while reading your posts in this thread, TieuMuoi, because you said (or wrote) my nick name "Thanks" many times.

    Thanks for your lovely writing, TieuMuoi. We love you too.

    Last edited by ThanksForTeachingMe; May 8, 2009 at 02:45 PM.

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