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[lifeisgood]

The benefit of studying English
We are living in a modern life where integration is spreading wider and wider over the world. Therefore, cross-border communication is very important. However, not all of us live in the same country, the same culture and speak the same language. That’s the reason why we have to use a second language for communicating purpose. As you may know, English is an international language in the world. More and more people use English on the daily life. It is used in all fields such as business, travel, computer, etc. You can meet by chance people speaking English when you are going for a walk for an example. Moreover, if you can speak English fluently, you can be friends with all people in the world, you can share all your feeling with all other people and you can understand all what they are saying.
For me, thanks to studying English I have more friends including Vietnamese and foreigners. Maybe, we don’t know how the others look like and the way they live in real life but no problem at all when we all have the same hobby that is English. Day by day, we become close friends to the others, help and share knowledge about not only English but also life. Furthermore by means of studying English through television, internet, books and magazines, I know more and more about other countries’ culture, news about economy, politics, society and so on.
In conclusion, English has special ability to bring people closer together and help us have understanding about this beautiful world. So you should spend time studying it and I’m sure you will like it. Wish you all success!

[huygotran]

minh` hong ranh` la('m, nhung here is a few suggestions :)

- second language: should be "common language"
- on the daily life: on a daily basis
- all people in the world: people all around the world

[Bear Lac Loi]

The benefit of studying English






We are living in a modern life where integration is spreading wider and wider over the world. Therefore, cross-border communication is very important. However, not all of us live in the same country, the same culture and speak the same language. That’s the reason why we have to use a second language for communicating purpose. As you may know, English is an international language in the world. More and more people use English on the daily life. It is used in all fields such as business, travel, computer, etc. You can meet by chance people speaking English when you are going for a walk for an example. Moreover, if you can speak English fluently, you can be friends with all people in the world, you can share all your feeling with all other people and you can understand all what they are saying.
For me, thanks to studying English I have more friends including Vietnamese and foreigners. Maybe, we don’t know how the others look like and the way they live in real life but no problem at all when we all have the same hobby that is English. Day by day, we become close friends to the others, help and share knowledge about not only English but also life. Furthermore by means of studying English through television, internet, books and magazines, I know more and more about other countries’ culture, news about economy, politics, society and so on.
In conclusion, English has special ability to bring people closer together and help us have understanding about this beautiful world. So you should spend time studying it and I’m sure you will like it. Wish you all success!
Hello Lifeisgood,

Welcome to the ESE forum. You write well. In addition to Thầy Huygo’s suggestions, I would like to add few more comments as below. My red text in the parentheses replaces or provides instructions for the preceding red text.

--- o0o ---

We are living in a modern life where integration is spreading wider and wider over the world. Therefore, cross-border communication is very important. However, not all of us live in the same country, the same culture (comma) and speak the same language. That’s the reason why we have to use a second language for communicating (communication) purpose.

As you may know, English is an international language in the world. More and more people use English on the daily life (in daily life). It is used in all (various) fields such as business, travel, computer, etc. You can meet by chance people speaking English when you are going for a walk for an example. Moreover, if you can speak English fluently, you can be friends (befriend) with all (preferred: many) people in the world, you can share all (delete: all) your feeling with all (delete: all) other people (comma) and you can understand all (delete: all) what they are saying. (1)

For me, thanks to studying (preferably: delete “studying”) English (2) I have more friends including Vietnamese and foreigners. Maybe, (delete: comma) we don’t know how the others look like and the way they live in real life (comma) but no problem (that is not a problem) at all when we all have the same hobby that is English (have a common interest, which is English). Day by day (preferred: eventually. Day by day refers to an on going process. Eventually means after a while), we become close friends to the others (“to each other” or preferably: delete: “to the others”), help and share (helping each other and sharing) knowledge about not only English but also life (3). Furthermore by means of studying English through television, internet, books and magazines, I know more and more about other countries’ culture, (add: and) news about economy, politics, society and so on.

In conclusion, English has special ability to bring people closer together and help us have understanding (help us understand) about this beautiful world. So (Therefore,) you should spend time studying it and (replace “and” with a period) I’m sure you will like it. Wish you all success!

Note:

1. Do not use “all” unless you really mean to refer to everything that is there. For example, you can’t say that you can befriend with “all” people in the world by just speaking English because there are many places on earth where English is unheard of. In addition, you cannot share “all” feeling with “all” other people because that is simply not true.

2. “Studying” in “thanks to studying English” is not wrong, but I would suggest removing it to emphasize English as the main subject. When you say, “Thanks to studying English,” you refer to the process of studying. It might be true that in the process of studying English, you make friends. However, your point is, as I believe, that you have more friends as a result of knowing English and not just during the process of studying English.

3. “Day by day, we become close friends to the others, share and help knowledge about not only English but also life” should be revised as:
- Eventually, we become close friends, helping each other and sharing knowledge about not only English but also life.
- Eventually, we become close friends. We help each other and share knowledge about not only in English but also life.

Note also that I removed “to each other” as in “become close friends to each other” because it is extraneous. I also add “each other” after “helping” because when you say, “helping and sharing knowledge,” it means “helping knowledge and sharing knowledge,” which is not correct.

Finally, please review "Rules of a comma" when you have a chance: http://tienganh.net/threads/2391-have-pen-will-write?p=19247&viewfull=1#post19247

[lifeisgood]

cám ơn thầy huygo nhiều

[lifeisgood]

Thank you very much thầy Bear Lac Loi. Thanks to your corrections I know where I wrote wrongly and how to correct them. You supported me some new knowledge I haven't know before. I will try my best to write the next essay. Thanks again