My first thread...

[tieu_muoi_1992]

Hello everyone....... I consider carefully before I write this thread, because i'm a shy girl ... I'm afraid that everyone will read my thread and... what will happen and what do they think:-S:-S??? I don't know but.... maybe I think too much...:|

Alright... My name is Kim Phượng. I'm sixteen years old and i'm in grade 11. I live in Đà Nẵng, Vietnam. I have joined in Paltalk for 2 months... Is it so long? During this summer vacation, I learnt how to read and pronunciate. I don't know why my heart beats so strongly and so fast when i take the mic, maybe because i know there are many people listening to me.When i listened to another who pronunciate so well, i felt disappointed because my pronunciation was not good... I always made some mistakes when i read. However, i never give up practising, because i know if i give up, i will never improve my English successfully. And then, one day, after I had read, Ms ChreshedLove told me that "Good job"... And.. you know... this is the first time i have been praised... I'm very excited because my pronunciation is improved a little bit. O:)

I find the instructors so dedicated... They are really teachers although teaching is not their job.@};-..Thanks my teachers...@};-@};-

I want to give my grateful to everyone who helps me learn english and encourages me... Thank you for everything you give me!!! @};-@};-

:DI know my writing is not good, but i want to write something in this forum... and try writing once. I just know how to use the simple sentences and there are some mistakes here... If you don't mind, please correct my mistakes and i will rewrite as soon as i can... :)

Thanks for reading my first thread ... Love all :x

[gdpt-]

I'm sixteen years old and i'm in grade 11.
- I am sixteen years old and I'm in the eleventh grade.
OR
- I am sixteen years old and am currently in the eleventh grade.
COMMENT: When referring to grade levels, most people put numbers first. EX: Ninth grade; tenth grade; eleventh grade... etc.


I have joined in Paltalk for 2 months... Is it so long?
- I have joined (delete: in) Paltalk for two months. Is it too long?
OR
- I have been on Paltalk for two months. Is it too long?
COMMENT: Numbers less than 10 are usually written in words.


During this summer vacation, I learnt how to read and pronunciate.
- During this summer vacation, I've learned how to read and enunciate.[/quote]
COMMENT: pronunciate isn't a word.


When i listened to another who pronunciate so well, i felt disappointed because my pronunciation was not good
- When I listen to others who enunciate (delete: so) well, I feel disappointed (in myself) because my pronunciation isn't good enough.


I always made some mistakes when i read.
- I would always make (delete: some) mistakes when I read.


However, i never give up practising, because i know if i give up, i will never improve my English successfully.
- However, I never give up practicing because, I know if I give up, I will never improve my English (delete: successfully).
OR
- However, I never give up practicing because, if I do, I will never improve my English.


And then, one day,
(delete: And then,) One day, ....


Ms ChreshedLove told me that "Good job"...
Ms. CherishedLove told me, (delete: that) "good job."


I'm very excited because my pronunciation is improved a little bit.
- I'm very excited because my pronunciation is improving a little bit.
OR
- I'm very excited because my pronunciation has improved a little bit.
COMMENT: You can take out "a little bit" and the sentence will still hold its significant value.




I find the instructors so dedicated... They are really teachers although teaching is not their job.
- I find the teachers very dedicated. They are true teachers, although teaching is not their real job.


I want to give my grateful to everyone who helps me learn english and encourages me...
- I want to express my gratitude to everyone who helps me learn English and encourages me.
OR
- I want to express my gratitude to everyone who encourage and helps me learn English.
COMMENT: Grateful is an adjective. Usually, you can't give an adjective to someone. EX: Instead of: I want to give my happy(adj) to someone; you would say: I want to give my happiness(noun) to someone. However, you can always use an adjective to describe the noun you are giving. EX: I want to give my PRETTY blouse to someone.


COMMENTS: Hi, tieu_muoi. Your writing is great. You express yourself very well. Keep up the good work, and CherishedLove will be very proud.

*-:) Practice makes perfect so keep practicing.

[tieu_muoi_1992]

Hello Ms gdpt-, i'm very glad that you correct my mistakes and encourage me... However, let me replace "enunciate" with "pronounce" (my friend advises that and i think so). Alright? Thanks a lot, Ms gdpt- >:D<(*)@};-
This is my rewritten thread... :)
Hello everyone....... I consider carefully before I write this thread, because i'm a shy girl ... I'm afraid that everyone will read my thread and... what will happen and what do they think:-S:-S??? I don't know but.... maybe I think too much...:|
Alright... My name is Kim Phượng. I'm sixteen years old and i'm in the eleventh grade. I live in Đà Nẵng, Vietnam. I have joined Paltalk for two months... Is it too long? During this summer vacation, I've learnt how to read and pronounce. I don't know why my heart beats so strongly and so fast when i take the mic, maybe because i know there are many people listening to me. When i listen to others who pronounce well, i feel disappointed because my pronunciation is not good enough... I would always make mistakes when i read. However, i never give up practicing because, if i do, i will never improve my English. One day, after I had read, Ms ChreshedLove told me, "good job"... And.. you know... this is the first time i have been praised... I'm very excited because my pronunciation has improved. O:)
I find the instructors very dedicated... They are true teachers although teaching is not their real job@};-... Thanks my teachers...@};-@};-

I want to give my gratitude to everyone who helps me learn english and encourages me... Thank you for everything you give me!!! @};-@};-
Thanks for reading my first thread ... Love all :x
Thank you very much, Ms gdpt- and my friend... Give you two bunches of flowers... @};-@};-

[ThanksForTeachingMe]

Thanks my teachers...@};-@};-

Thanks for reading my first thread ... Love all :x



Thanks a lot, Ms gdpt- >:D<(*)@};-
Thanks my teachers...@};-@};-

Thanks for reading my first thread ... Love all :x
Thank you very much, Ms gdpt- and my friend... Give you two bunches of flowers... @};-@};-

I sneezed many times while reading your posts in this thread, TieuMuoi, because you said (or wrote) my nick name "Thanks" many times. :)

Thanks for your lovely writing, TieuMuoi. @};- We love you too. :x