LucChi's Laughing Corner...!!! Neu Ban Co Chuyen Gi Vui Muon Share, Pls Post...!!!

[LucChiCamMa]

So* Tha^`y Qua' !!!


Trong gio lam va(n, thay giao bao ca lop:
- Cac em hay cho mot vi du ve su rung dong truoc cai dep.
Tro Ty' ngoi ban dau`gio* tay:
- Thua thay, vi du nhu ta dung truoc mot hoa hau hoan vu dep nhu than tien.
Thay gian du*~:
- Dau o'c do* da'y! Em hay ra khoi lop ngay va ngay mai moi` phu huynh den gap toi.
Ngay hom sau. tro` Ty' den mot minh va ngoi o* cuo'i lo*p. Ong thay lien goi tro Ty' len va hoi:
- Phu huynh cua em dau va ai cho phep em do^?i cho^ ngo^`i?
Tro` Ty' tra loi:
-Thua thay Bo^' em bao la neu tha^`y khong tha^'y su* rung dong truoc mot hao hau hoan vu ma dep nhu tien thi tha^`y la mot nguoi binh hoa.n, ba't thuo`ng, bo^' em so* la^y be^nh nen khong gia'm de^'n ga.p thay`, va bo^' em da(.n em phai ngoi xa thay ra, ne^u' Kho^ng se nguy hie^?m. =:)

[LucChiCamMa]

Factory Workers


Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that."
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs herself upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman says, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need the day off.
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark."

Does anyone want to take the day off? Do the same. hihihiii

[LucChiCamMa]

The Biggest Lie



Two boys were arguing when the teachers entered the room.

The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answeres, "We found a ten dollars bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "when I was your age, I didnt even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
:binhsua_05:

[LucChiCamMa]

A Cute Dog

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."

[LucChiCamMa]

$100 Bill

A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it. :)

[LucChiCamMa]

Punishment


A student is talking to his teacher.

Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn't do?"
Teacher:" Of course not."
Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework." :)

[LucChiCamMa]

The Perfect Son

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

[Clueless]

Another Fifty Years<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
“What do I need to do to live another 50 years, Doc?” asked a patient.<o:p></o:p>
“How old are you now?”<o:p></o:p>
“Forty.”<o:p></o:p>
“Do you drink, gamble or chase women?”<o:p></o:p>
“No,” the man answered. “I don’t drink, I never gamble, and I detest women. In fact, I don’t have any vices at all.”<o:p></o:p>
“Why then,” the doctor retorted, “do you want to live another 50 years?”<o:p></o:p>

[LucChiCamMa]

Ha ha Bro Ga`:) Please help me post more...It's like a relaxing conrner to help reduce stresses from school, work and life. I usually post 1 or 2 jokes a day. It helps me smile while posting it and it also helps others smiling too. The road of life isn't easy thats why its better to smile all the time.:) Thanks for the joke. I hope u all should at least post a joke once a day. It helps everyone's life more meaningful.

[Clueless]

A Week Pay<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
The owner of a manufacturing plant decided to make a surprise tour of the shop. Walking through the warehouse, he noticed a young man lazily leaning against a packing crate. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
“Just how much are you being paid a week?” the owner angrily asked him.<o:p></o:p>
“A hundred bucks,” answered the lounging guy.<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
The boss pulled out his wallet and peeled off $100. “Here’s a week’s pay,” he shouted. “Now get out and don’t come back!”<o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
Wordlessly, the young man stuffed the money into his pocket and took off. The warehouse manager, standing nearby, stared in amazement. <o:p></o:p>
<o:p> </o:p>
“Tell me,” the owner asked the manager, “how long has that guy worked for us?”<o:p></o:p>
“He didn’t work here,” replied his employee. “He was just delivering a package.”<o:p></o:p>

[buiminhese]

“Why then,” the doctor retorted, “do you want to live another 50 years?”<o:p></o:p>

haha... giống quá

[LucChiCamMa]

Neu moi mot ngay cac em co the post 1 cau chuyen vui ( English/Vietnamese ) thi cuoc song cua cac em se nhe nhang, bo't ap lu*c va tran day suc song hon, vi khi ta cuoi va dong tho*i` cung giup nguoi cuoi, thi cuoc song tra`n day ap lu*c va kho khan nay se duoc nhe di rat la nhieu va y nghia hon.

The road of life isn't easy. We all just have to find the right way to keep moving. The final destiny, Heaven/Hell is up to how & what road you choose.

Mot Nie^.m thie^n duo`ng, 1 Nie^.m dia nguc. Tac ca deu dzo chung ta cho.n ma thoi. :)

Adidaphat...!!!...Amen...!!!

[trinang1210]

HOW BUSINESS IS DONE?
Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son : “I will choose my own bride!”
Father: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son : “Well, in that case…ok”

Next, Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Father: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…ok”

Finally, Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Father: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case…ok”
This is how business is done!!

[trinang1210]

Mental Patient
John and David were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking, they passed the hospital swimming pool and John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in and saved him, swimming to the bottom of the pool and pulling John out. The medical director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the hospital as he now considered him to be OK. The doctor said, "David, we have good news and bad news for you! The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your sanity. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient, you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient that you saved hung himself in the bathroom and died after all." David replied, "Doctor, John didn't hang himself. I hung him there to dry."

[trinang1210]

Shredder
The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused.
"Need some help?" a secretary asked.
"Yes," he replied. "How does this thing work?"
"Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder.
"Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"

[trinang1210]

One day, a few years ago, a train was travelling through the English countryside. This was in the days when the trains had small compartments, and in one particular compartment there were four people. There was a young girl, quite pretty, who looked like a student or someone who was first starting her first job; there was an old lady, dressed in black with bag and magazines and knitting; there was an army officer in his mid-thirties, immaculately dressed in his uniform and very stiff and proper in his manner; and finally there was a young cockney, casually dressed with a sparkle in his eye and ever ready to have a joke. It was quite obvious that both the men were attracted to the young girl, though the officer certainly wouldn’t show it and the cockney felt inhabited by the presence of he others.
Suddenly the train when into a tunnel; the light had not been put on, so for half a minute the carriage was completely in the darkness, and in the darkness came a the sound of a large kiss followed almost immediately by a loud slap. What had taken place while the train was in the tunnel?
When the train finally emerged and it was light again in the carriage, there for all to see was the officer with a bleeding nose and a swollen eye.
And the old lady, seeing this, thought to herself, “What a brave young lady, who dared to hit the officer for stealing a kiss in such a cowardly way”
And the young girl, seeing the suffering of the officer, was puzzled “How strange, she thought, that the officer should kiss the old lady, and not me.”
The poor officer, nursing two injures that caused him more than a little pain embarrassment, considered to himself, “that cockney’s quite a clever chap. He kissed the girl and the girl hit me!”
And the cockney laughed suddenly to himself at the trick he had played. “I am a clever chap”, he thought to himself, “I kissed the back of my hand , hit the officer in the face and nobody said a word.”

[_uud]

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house.

His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

[_uud]

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

[1dongsong]

5 Rules To Remember In Life:


1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.


2. Forgive your enemies but remember their names.


3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble
again.


4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.


5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk!


Lang thang.net

[_uud]

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!!!" (Vì cái tội chanh chua nên giờ không xuống dòng được, thật là đáng đời mình ;-))

[LucChiCamMa]

Be ngich ngom post nhieu chuyen cuoi vay ta.:D Doc co hieu hong ma post nhieu vay:D j/k.

ah` ne`..nhung em nao ma` new voi cai forum, khi bam vo thread ma hong thay bai nao het thi nho keo xuong het ben duoi co trang 1,2,3...bam vao se thay...Mai mot chac la trong day se chua' da`y collections cua chuyen cuoi.... Thay co^ nao muon dem may bai viet bang tieng anh len lop cung duoc.:)

[_uud]

Tại vì không hiểu gì nên em mới post vào folder của thầy chứ. Nếu hiểu hết em đọc xong rồi quăng đi cho đỡ làm rác forum hì hì. :-P. I do hope that you will smile while reading this story, or at least like another person to find the whole story before I complete my post. :-$

[LucChiCamMa]

John Says I'm Pretty


A: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?

B: I think you are pretty ugly. :D

Insulting someone is often considered funny, especially when that person is fishing for a complement.

NOTE: pretty ugly = very ugly

[TieuYenTu626]

<span style="color:#800080;">Three wishes<br><br><font size="2">A man walks into a tavern and up to the bar. On the bar
top he is amazed when he sees a little 9 inch tall pianist, playing the
piano beautifully.<br>
<br>
He asks the bartender where the little 9 inch man came from. The
bartender says, “Well behind the bar, in one of the offices there is an
old genie who will grant you three wishes.”<br>
<br>
The man says, “Can anyone ask him for these wishes?”<br>
<br>
“Sure,” say the barkeep, “But, it’s a bit difficult he is a little hard
or hearing. Just go on back and look for the office with a curtain for a
door.<br>
<br>
The guy quickly walks back behind the bar. A few minutes later, what
seemed like a million ducks came waddling out of the back. The man comes
out following the ducks with curly hair, reeking of honey.<br>
<br>
“What happened,” asks the bartender.<br>
<br>
“Well first I asked for a million bucks, and poof there appeared a
million ducks. Well then I tried again and I asked to be stinking filthy
with money, and poof I’m covered in sticky honey. Well, I gave up on
that avenue and asked to be popular with the girls, and poof my hair now
has curls.”<br>
<br>
“I have to ask you what is that guy’s problem,” asked the man.<br>
<br>
The barkeep replied, “I told you he is hard of hearing, do you really think I’d ask for a 9 inch pianist.”</font></span>

[TieuYenTu626]

<span style="color:#800080;">Mother-In-Law<br><br><font size="2">Jim goes on vacation to the Middle East with most of his
family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they
are visiting Jerusalem, Jim's mother-in-law dies.<br>
<br>
With the death certificate in hand, Jim goes to the American Consulate's
office to make arrangements to send the body back to the U.S. for
proper burial.<br>
<br>
The consulate, after hearing about the death of the mother-in-law, tells
Jim that sending a body back to the States for burial is very, very
expensive -- it could cost as much as $5,000. The consulate continues
and explains that in most cases, the person responsible for the remains
normally decides to bury the body in the country where he or she passed
away. This would only cost $150.<br>
<br>
Jim thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."<br>
<br>
The consulate, after hearing this, says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price."<br>
<br>
"No, it's not that," says Jim. "You see, I know the story of a person
buried here in Jerusalem many years ago. On the third day he arose from
the dead! I just can't take that chance..." </font></span>